Tuesday, April 27, 2010

If Car Companies Made Computers

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated,

'If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.'

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating:

If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash ...... Twice a day. 

2.Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3.  Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason.  You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue.  For some reason you would simply accept this.

4.  Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single 'This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation' warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask 'Are you sure?' before deploying.

8.  Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9.  Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10.  You'd have to press the 'Start' button to turn the engine off.

(This was passed on to me via email. I thought it was too funny not to share with the people who would most appreciate it!)


  1. Hilarious! I'm on the brink of needing to by a new computer, and I'm still waffling between the known evils of the PC and the unknown dangers of a Mac.

  2. K.M. - I am in dire need of a new computer. Mine is six years old and used about 15 hours a day. Most of the letters are worn off, and I am constantly having to move stuff onto thumb drives because I'm outta room. And the operating system is so old it won't do half the stuff a computer should do.

    You know why I don't have a new one? Because this baby is a Mac...my first one, and I'll wait as long as I need to to scrimp and save for the next one rather than spend less on a PC. That's how much I love it. :)

  3. Very funny. GM has a sense of humor. Who would have known?

  4. That was super! Thanks for sharing. :)

  5. I'm still using a PC, but nobody I've known who has gone Mac has ever regretted it. Makes me wonder.

  6. I love this - well all but number 5. Once we made the switch to Mac - I can not believe we waited so long. It just works like a computer should.