In Which I Get to the Book About the Drag Queen with Goldfish Boobs

I don't think of myself as a non-fiction junkie. Really. I write fiction. I think I read fiction. I think this is mostly all I read until I look at my reading list from last semester to sum it up for my advisor, and realize that nearly HALF my reading list was memoir. HALF!!!

Let's just admit it: I have a memoir problem.

And now that my reading for the semester is done and I have three weeks stretching in front of me to read whatever I want, you know what is on my nightstand? Three memoirs. Sigh.

The thing is, it isn't even about reading the truth, because I don't believe most of what's in these books anyway. When people - anyone and not just authors - look back at their lives, they see it through a filter. A lens of emotions and perspective and information that came later. They make up dialogue - some of which may have happened in some form but not exactly that way, and some of which is what they wanted to say or have said to them. Authors have to create plots and story arcs and timelines that work for readers, making interesting things of what might be dull, leaving out the seemingly meaningless.

But people - especially nearly real people - are interesting.

Take my newest book... one that, if you've read this blog for a few months you might recognize:

I Am Not Myself These Days... the story of the seven-foot-tall New York Drag Queen who sashays around the city with goldfish in his clear bubble bra.

I honestly laughed about this book for days after blindly buying it without having any idea what it was about. If you knew me in person, you'd know this is completely NOT what I'd pick up, even if it was memoir.

But now that I'm nearly done with it, I can say it is not funny, and I am not laughing. Which is not to say it isn't a good read, or that I can easily put it down at midnight when my eyelids are drooping, because I can't. Despite the amount of R-rated language, which tends to turn me off, the story itself is riveting. But depressing and sad, because under the makeup and fun costumes and active nightlife, this writer is an alcoholic and possibly a drug addict, in a brutal and unhappy relationship, with a job he  can barely get sober long enough to do.

But, and this is a pretty big but, I don't believe half of it is real. I just don't. The author writes about a period of time in his life where he pretty much is drunk nearly all the time. He's drinking 3-4 glasses of vodka (which sounds like "glasses" rather than "shots") an hour for nine hours at a time. He blacks out often, sometimes on park benches, sometimes in subway trains, sometimes in stranger's houses whom he can't remember. And yet, he can remember details of the nightlife when he's 18-glasses of vodka to the wind, conversations, impressions, emotions. He can describe vividly the crowd and the music even as he describes himself as unable to stand upright without a wall and slurring his words so badly he can't be understood.

There are also lines of coke and the occasional crack and meth. He's beat senselessly at least once, being kicked in the face and head so brutally he passes out. He survives weeks on end with less than an hour of sleep a night. And yet he recalls it all with a sober clarity that defies explanation.

In fact, the fact that this guy can survive at all is a mystery.

There are other things in the book I question as well - aspects of a seedy underground where people pay thousands of dollars to be tied up naked and belittled and beaten to escape their CEO-lifestyle, for one. Not that I don't think some of this exists, and I do realize I lead a very clean, sheltered life, but the levels at which some of this occur - and the rate at which they reoccur - feel exaggerated for effect. And trust me, when you're a seven-foot-tall drag queen with goldfish in your boobs, there's not a lot of need to exaggerate other things.

The thing about this book is that it would have been fascinating as a novel. As a memoir, I don't buy it all, and I can't even identify with the parts I might believe. So the genre label here doesn't really help for me.

The funny thing is this: last night, while winding up the book and reading the "Author's Path to Publication" in the back, his mentor and first reader was James Frey, author of A Million Little Pieces that I wrote about yesterday. Irony? Maybe. And maybe he should be glad Oprah never came calling at his door.

(I can't say I'd unequivocally recommend this book. Clearly the subject matter - and often the accompanying language - is not for everyone. I would have said it was not for me. But it is well-written and easy to get lost in and despite my wariness about it, I do have to say it was an interesting read.)

The Cover Is In!

There is that feeling when you write that last word on the page, and you know the novel is finished. You look at the document sitting in your computer... you stroke the words on the lined paper in a notebook... you see those last words and think:  I wrote a real book!

Then there is a long process - usually very long - before you get to the next time you feel that way. There are queries and contracts and revisions and edits. That real book starts feeling like a work in progress again. But one day you open up your email and you realize....I wrote a real book!!

And that's the day you get the cover of your book.

So last week I got mine. I guess this makes it official.  :)

Creating a Book Cover Design

One of the most fun aspects of getting published is the cover. It's true, isn't it? I mean, when you spend hours at night dreaming of your book on some bookstore shelf, you don't picture it as a pile of manuscript papers fresh from your home printer. You don't picture it as some blank, unidentifiable cover. You picture it with a fantastic cover that people will walk by and do a double take and pick up because oh. my. gosh. how could you not with a cover like that??

One of the amazing things about working with NorLights Press is that they actually want my input on my cover design. They asked me to send a collection of covers I like in order to have an idea of what direction to take mine.

I thought I'd share this process with you in case you're interested. So today I'm going to share what I showed them, and why I like what I like.

Interestingly enough, I didn't actually know what I liked. I could name book covers I was drawn to, but if you asked what basic designs appealed to me, I would have shrugged my shoulders. Once I started assembling a list, though, there were some VERY clear patterns!

Here is one. can you see the common theme?




Big skies. Simple landscapes that evoke a definite mood. Clean, simple lines. Uncluttered. Neutral palates with a color or two on the bottom that really pops, but in a smallish way.


Okay ; on to the next.

These are Emily Giffin novels. I love the simplicity of them. There are, I think, four like this, but I chose the two that I like the best. The colors are soft but eye-catching, and the tiny pictures symbolize the theme of the story. I think I could do this with mine if I continue the series as I hope to do.

The next one I picked from my own memory randomly but once I had them lined up, obviously show a pattern on my part!





There is something I love about the black background with that one bright thing that pops on the cover. It's just very eye-catching to me. And Kim's book? Well, it's a double whammy with that blue. I love blue. I am very drawn to books with blue, turquoise and purples for some reason. Give me a table full of books and I will immediately pick up the one that looks like it just walked out of the Caribbean Sea.



See what I mean?

And that Blue Notebook one? I could totally steal that. I really, really love it.


And if you add an ocean to it... I'm all over that one!


Aren't the soft colors and clean lines in that one just gorgeous? So sad I didn't write this book about an ocean town. My first novel - the one under the bed - is about an ocean town. I may have to go back and dig that one out just so I can do a cover design for it!


This one is my favorite. The colors, the use of light, the magical quality it evokes. I think it's possible I just really wish I were there.



I'm not a fan of collages usually, but I think they can be done well. Here is one I really like.




I like the colors, and the monochromatic theme makes it feel less busy than most collages. The faces are beautiful too: evocative and yet simple.


I decided I like simple.


The next two I actually bought in a bookstore just because I passed them and saw the covers and thought, WOW! I love this! (Of course the story looked good, too.)


I like the ocean, of course, but I really like the painting feel of the cover, and the fact that no faces are shown (so I can imagine the characters, which is what I'd rather do than have a photo of someone on the front that conflicts with the picture in my mind).

But I like the relationships in the pictures as well. There is an intimacy alluded to, and in that intimacy there is an unspoken crisis.

So those are some of my favorites, and why. They are going to do a few different mock-ups so I can look at them, decide what I like from those, and then we can tweak the one I like best. I'll let you know as it happens so you can go along with me on the ride.

As for you: tell me what book covers are your favorites, and what are you immediately drawn to?