Friday, July 24, 2009

New Fears That Keep Me Up At Night

Just in case you think it's all rainbows and puppies here since I signed my book away into a publisher's hands, here's the flip side - the things that freak me out just a little before I fall asleep.

1. What if my editor wants the entire book in five points of view instead of one? Or worse - wants it changed to 3rd person instead of 1st? Or wants to change it to be about cancer instead of diabetes? Or wants a different ending? Or wants it to take place in New York instead of Texas?

2. What if the publishing press turns out to be this big scam and my book never gets published? Or they go bankrupt before it comes out?

3. What if the cover art is hideous?

4. What if I turn out to be terrible at revising with my editor's notes?

5. What happens if no one buys it?

6. What if, because no one buys it, no agent or publisher will ever look at anything else I write?

7. What if people buy it, and hate it, and think I'm a terrible writer?

8. What if I throw up from anxiety when I try to talk to people in public, like at a signing or conference or something?

9. What if it turns out I can't work on someone else's deadline schedule?

10. What if getting everything I want, turns out not to be everything I dreamed it would be?

You know, it's Friday. I should end this week on a more positive note. So here it goes.

What happens if getting everything I want, turns out to be even better than I dreamed?

Because, after all, why not?


  1. 1. That is scary, but I doubt that will happen. They loved it the way it is!

    2. I doubt this.

    3. That is a concern, but have faith in the cover artist. I'm sure it will be lovely.

    4. You won't be. You'll rock the editor revising thing.

    5. This is a very real fear of all writers, I assume. I know it is one of mine. But they will - because this book is awesome.

    6. This will not happen, because people will buy it.

    7. This will not happen, because you aren't a terrible writer. You are an awesome writer, which is why you had a publishing press come to you.

    8. I doubt this will happen, you'll find your groove with the public.

    9. You will make this work. You manage to write and make your own deadlines with three kids and a hubby. You'll rock the deadlines.

    10. This is a real fear - but I believe this is all happening for a reason and you will be very happy with the results.

    That last comment - about being more than what you dreamed, hold onto that. You've dreamed of being a published author for years. You had your times in the slumps, with rejection letters, etc. You now have a signed contract with a small press. Your book will be on shelves, where people can buy it. And when I see your book in someone's hands, I can say, "I know her! This is an awesome book, you should get it."

  2. Take it one step at a time...and breathe! It's gonna be great!!!

    And better than you ever imagined!

  3. Yeah, why not? For all the stuff that could go wrong, it could also go very right.

    You've done the work. You've researched and been a diligent student of the publishing business. Most of all you've put the work into writing the book. (Y'know, your craaaaaaafft.)

    Anyways, there's no chance nobody will buy. Cuz I'm gonna buy it.

    I think all of your fears are normal and if you asked around, lots of writers feel this way. I suspect a lot of writers feel this way with every new book that comes out!

    Just enjoy the whole process.

  4. The way I see, most of it comes down to feet and shoulders. As appropriate, you take your wee foot and *put it down* when you need to take a stand. Fight the battles worth fighting. Also as appropriate, you take your shoulders and shrug them because there are some things that are out of your control. And have you ever spontaneously thrown up in your life? I think not!

    Can't wait to buy - and read - your book!

  5. Oh, and I thought that everything just magically got better when you got a publishing contract. All that angst and fear and self-doubt...I thought it just went away. Darn. Well good luck. I bet you will do great, and you can look back at this post when your book comes out and laugh.