My So-Called Life

Overall, today has been a very good day for me. I actually got more than four hours of sleep. I met with a friend this morning who wanted to know all about my book. She introduced me to two other Christian writers in my church. Turns out there are other writers in this area. They want to start getting together to encourage each other. They are exceedingly excited about my publishing contract.

My husband had to dash off to New Mexico briefly, so he was home this morning and had lunch with me. We laughed like we were teens in love. It was a fantastic lunch.

I went to the doctor, where I discovered I've lost nine pounds in three months, have unbelievably low bad cholesterol and very good good cholesterol, and am in overall excellent health.

I took my kids with me and left them in the waiting room, where the admin people raved over how superbly behaved they were.

It was a good day for me.

A few hours away, a very, very dear friend is attending the funeral of his nephew - a kid that was like a brother to him. The past few days have been a nightmare for him. Who expects a 24 year old to go to sleep one night, and not wake up? Who expects an athletic, active kid to have a heart condition no one could see?

My friend's grief is palpable. The world has stopped for him. I know. Because life stopped for me just eight months ago, when another friend of mine died.

Every moment I felt good today, I felt bad for feeling good. The aspects of my life are great right now, but my heart hurts for him, and it seems strange that my life should continue on - my parallel world with his - each of us connected to each other, and yet on such separate paths.

It feels sometimes, for me, like we are not all living in the same world with each other, but we are each living in our own world surrounded by a supporting cast of people who each live in their own world in which I am but a supporting cast.

Except when I think about him. And then I am overwhelmed with sadness too.

It reminds me that all the things that are seemingly important - getting a book deal, getting published, finding agents, writing, getting media productions complete and in mail ahead of schedule, folding laundry, cleaning the house, finishing critiques, making appointments...

none of these are as important as people.

Which is why it's taken me half the day to write this simple, short post. Because my son wants to show me what he's made, and my daughters want me to teach them how to make friendship bracelets, and my husband, for once, was home for lunch.

and who know how long I have with any one of them?