Do you ever wonder what you'd be doing if you weren't you? Or rather - if you weren't where you are in life, having made the choices you've made... maybe what you'd be doing if you could have chosen the gifts and personality you'd wanted, or if you had another life to live...
I love my life. Given anything in the world, this is what I'd want. I love my husband and kids with a fierce passion. I love being a mom, and a media production creator, and a photographer, and writer. I love my house in the woods and minivan I swore I'd never own (but mostly for those bun warmers!).
But I do find myself wondering every now and then... what if?
There is a photographer I follow on Twitter. I don't know him. He followed me first and, intrigued by his photo ID (which showed him on a mountain top taking a photo), I added him too. From what I can tell, all he does is travel around taking pictures. He sits in San Francisco cafes and drinks mocha frappucinos, listens to really cool music and takes awesome photos of whatever strikes his fancy. He travels to exotic locations like Rome and Paris and takes photos of kids swinging over lakes in summer and birds taking off from the pond in front of the Capital building. He also does weddings, although even those are not your run-of-the-mill weddings.
I fantasize sometimes about doing that. Certainly not leaving the life I love, but having another life to live that way - to travel at whim, take amazing photos of wherever I land, centering my whole existence around getting the shots I want and making beautiful images rather than trying to make something beautiful out of wherever I am at the time.
I fantasize about being the kind of person who is comfortable traveling alone and making friends everywhere I go. Having nothing to tie me to anything. And to be okay with that.
Truth is - even if everything I had right now disappeared, I'd never be that person. I like the ties that bind me to people, and to places. I like having some roots and routines. And I like traveling with someone that I can share those experiences with.
Still, it's fascinating.
It makes me think that this is what writing is for: to live vicariously through characters I create - to get to be them for a while. Maybe I'll write a book with my fictitious roving photographer. How fun would it be to live in that world every day for a few hours!?
Do you ever think about what you'd love to do or be if you had another life to live?