Yesterday was not a good day. Today has not started any better. Worse, actually, because I woke up with my blood sugar in the 50s (no reason I can think of - it was fine when I went to bed) and so I woke up sick to my stomach and light headed and dizzy and shakey, and despite the fact that I should be better by now, I still just feel eh. And I have 20 hours worth of work to cram into 4.
So who out there feels like hearing me complain?
See? I don't notice any hands being raised out there in the blogosphere. Which is what I was thinking to myself driving to run an errand I didn't want to run this morning. I'm getting sick of hearing myself complain in my own head!
And somewhere, out of nowhere, I began thinking of the Bible verse, "Sing a new song to the Lord."
I haven't read that verse recently. I don't know a song with those words to get it stuck in my head. And I didn't feel like singing. I wasn't even singing to begin with, so how could I sing a new song?
And then it occurred to me all my whining and complaining - even if only to myself - is like a song. A cruddy, whiny, out of tune horrid song. And what I need to sing is a new one.
So good thing it's Friday here, and time for a little gratitude attitude adjustment. Because just because my stomach and head feel awful, doesn't mean my spirit needs to feel bad, too.
So today it's Friday, and here are a few of the good things from this week:
1. I'm thankful my marketing plan is done (for now), and that it's something I'm reasonably proud of, and something that, once I did it and saw it all written down on paper, I realized is actually achievable. All the pressure I've felt for months about figuring out how to get the word out on my book seems suddenly manageable.
2. I'm thankful I have a publisher that calls personally to ask if I need any help with the marketing plan, and ask if I have any questions.
3. I'm thankful our goldfish are still alive. Last week my daughter was gifted 2 goldfish, which she adores with a passion that should be reserved for something great - like a labrador. But she checks on these fish constantly. She'd sleep with them if she could. But we have what we call fondly "3rd world water," It's from a well. It's slightly yellow due to iron. And it kills fish. Fast. I live in constant fear that when she is at school and I am responsible for the fish, they are going to die on my watch, and I'm going to find them floating belly up and have to perform CPR on them. But so far... they're alive. So daughter is happy. And I am happy. Alive goldfish are a very good thing!
4. I am so thankful for my husband's creativity. This weekend is my son's birthday bash, and last night we found out that our plans for the party had imploded (we were going glow-in-the-dark-haunted-mini-golfing, and the mini-golf placed inexplicably closed this week!). Terrific dad that he is, my husband came up with an awesome plan for a night mission through our wooded acres which my son is actually more excited about than golf. And there will be a bonfire, and "I survived the night mission" t-shirts, and he's going to run it all. So dads that save the day (or the night) are great things!
5. I'm thankful for people who are nice. Let's face it, there are the other kind out there. But sometimes I think it just makes me appreciate all those really, really nice people.
6. Spiral notebooks and ballpoint pens. I'm rediscovering the miracle that is writing on paper.
7. Sleep. Okay - I haven't seen a lot of that, lately, but it just makes me appreciate it even more. Sleep, and warm beds, and comfortable pillows, and curling up under piles of blankets when it's cool outside.
8. Being cool outside. I love the fall.
9. People who understand that not everyone thinks alike, and are okay with that. There are lots of opinions in the world, and I appreciate those people who don't have to have you agree with everything they believe to still appreciate you. Along with that, people who can see things from different points of view, even if they don't agree. And along with that, people who are kind to others, and about others, no matter what the conversation is about.
10. All my stuff. Even when it doesn't feel like enough. Because it is. I sat at a light this morning moaning to myself about how cruddy I felt and all that I needed to do today (this was before the new song idea), and then I saw a homeless person on the corner with a sign asking for change. And I thought about the warm clothes I had on and the cup of coffee in my cupholder and the van that I was sitting in and the music on the radio and the completely superfluous bag of glow sticks on the seat next to me...suddenly I didn't feel so cruddy. Guilty, maybe, but not cruddy.
So what are you thankful for today?
Great post, Heidi. I am also struggling with the "poor me" syndrome. It really sucks.
ReplyDeleteI'm thankful that I get to stay at home with my kids. It's a crunch and gifts don't flow plentiful, but love does.
I'm thankful we have food to eat and roof over our heads. Now-if I could just get some decent water pressure....oh wait! Positive, Kristi, positive!
I'm thankful that I have such an incredible husband. He is disabled and can not do much at one time, but he sure does everything he can do, and he supports my writing dreams. :)
Kristi - I love your list! It is such a blessing to be able to stay home with the kids, and to be able to write!
ReplyDeleteI was thinking this week when I was griping about our yellow water that if I had a job I went to everyday, we might be able to pay for fixing it. And then I realized I love staying home and writing and raising the kids so much more than clear water.
So now, everytime I see the iron stains from the water I think, "That's because I get to stay home," and now I'm thankful about it!
I'm so sorry to hear your husband is disabled. What a wonderful thing that he supports your dreams!
Great post and comments. I'm so thankful that I get to stay home with my kids too. I sometimes take it for granted and don't appreciate my husband enough for the sacrifices he makes so I can stay home. This was a good reminder.
ReplyDeleteNice post. I'm really thankful, every single day for the life that I have. Actually, I'm afraid most of the time, it's going to get snatched out from under me. My childhood was not good. My mother died when I was a teenager. I was on my own at 17. In hindsight, it's a wonder I graduated college at all. But I made it.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad that I am a writer, and I'm thankful that I can support myself writing. It beats any other job I've ever had.
But as long as I have food on the table, and a roof over my head, I'm pretty happy. I really want to live to see my kids graduate high school. I'm healthy now, so I think I have a good shot. In the end, that's my only dream.
I'm so thankful.
Wow Christy! Sometimes the simplest dreams are the most powerful! I'm so thankful for thankful people!!
ReplyDeleteNatalie - I sometimes forget that my husband makes sacrifices too for me to stay home. His water is as yellow as mine, and he works 60 hours a week! Thanks for reminding me of that!
It's Canadian Thanksgiving, so I did a post on this very thing, but yours are much more original.
ReplyDeleteI most thankful for family, friends, health, and jobs that support our family.
I really thankful that my boys are going to be tall.
Yeah, Patti just wrote a Thanksgiving post too!
ReplyDeleteI'm thankful for your blog, and laughter, and autumn, and just to be alive.
Your husband sounds awesome. Can I come to the "night mission"? :)
Excellent list Heidi! And I love everyone's comments.
ReplyDeleteI'm thankful for my life and freedom. Sometimes I get all "Woe is me" because I don't get to stay home with my son or I have extra homework to do, but you know what? I have a good job and make decent money. There is a roof over our heads, food on the table and I can even splurge every now and then for fun stuff. I'm lucky I'm able to go to college and get my degree - it's hard work, but a blessing and I'm grateful.
YOU.
ReplyDeletefor the reminders, and for being awesome.
It's a good day for gratitude. (C'mon over, we need you!)
Very nice Heidi. Beautiful writing and beautiful words. I think the marvellous part about life is that there is good and bad all mixed together. We grow from it and learn from it, and having those tough moments makes us appreciate the good times even more.
ReplyDeleteI loved your list! I love warm, cozy beds during warm weather, too, even though my son jumps on me when I'm enjoying my warm, cozy bed. And your husband's idea is so great! I'm so impressed. What a creative guy, and what a fun thing for your son. I want to see those shirts. And a bag of glow sticks made you feel guilty. Now, that's funny. The unfunny part is the homeless man, but the glow sticks, that was funny.
ReplyDeletecool weather, during COOL weather...you know what I meant.
ReplyDeleteFunny how a change of focus can be so uplifting, isn't it? Really helps you see the mind-body-spirit connection.
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, I don't envy your yellow water. Have you tried filters? Reverse osmosis?
Today I'm thankful my health plan covers flu shots and mammograms and would appreciate your visiting The Breast Cancer Site this month to help other women get free mammograms.
Have a wonderful weekend. I think you're primed for one. :)
Okay - Today I am so, so thankful for YOU ALL!! You're so awesome to add to this list and have such great things to say, and it makes me even more thankful. I love when gratitude is contagious!
ReplyDeleteCan I say how much I love this blog, and all you readers? I hope y'all have a great weekend!
I'm sorry I'm late, we were without internet for three days! (!!!!) but I'm so glad for you! And I'm thankful that I know you!!!
ReplyDeleteXOXO
(And I'm thankful for my little girl!!!!!!) :-)