Tomorrow the kids head back to school, and for once, I'm sort of scared. See, for the last two weeks, my top priority has been mommyhood. Well, no one actually calls me mommy anymore. They're too old for that. It's sad really, the passing of the mommy into just mom, or occasionally Hey You! Fewer hugs, fewer kisses. More eye-rolling and sighs.
But I digress.
The writing thing, and the exercise thing, have been put on the back burner for the last two weeks. Okay, who am I kidding? They were shoved way back in the dark recesses of some storage closet. With all the parties and company there hasn't been a back burner to spare. Sometimes I have fought to keep my sacred writing time. I prop them up with the remote control and clamp headphones over my ears and disappear into my laptop. I kick the kids off the Wii to substitute the gym with a DVD to sweat to. I get it done somehow.
But I realized this spring break - and the week before - that if I wanted to be sane, and retain a portion of my hair, I would set it all aside. So I have cooked, and cleaned, and shopped, and made cakes, and cleaned, and cooked, and assembled goody bags and easter baskets and painted a beautiful watercolor pin the cottontail on the bunny and cleaned and cooked some more, and read to my kids and helped them complete their insane Spring Break homework (there should be a Law against that!! Isn't there a reason the word break is in the name??), and traveled a bit and ridden a few fabulous roller coasters (hey, it can't be all cooking and cleaning!), and then did a marathon day of laundry today.
And tomorrow I send them all off, and I head back to the gym unsure if I can even haul my bum across the parking lot let alone put a few miles on the treadmill. And I will sit to write a book that was going great when I left it and is now a far thought from my mind. I had to actually stop and think - "What were those characters names again??"
I really want it to be a great day. I am hoping it will be a great day. I am fearing it will hurt a bit.
But I am not intending on doing any cleaning. And maybe I'll just reheat some leftovers. That doesn't count as cooking, does it?
On another note:
So Jen said yesterday she wants to see more positivity. Honestly, can you get more positive than me? Hey - I even named my blog HOPE. Okay, maybe I implied that it's a crazy, wild, unbelievable and outlandish HOPE, but still. Anywhoo - so here is my positive thought for the day:
I may not have an agent yet, but I've had lots of agents tell me I am a talented writer. And when I feel like giving up, I remember that. And I remember that they could have not replied at all, or replied with a form rejection. And they didn't. They took time to actually write a personal note - sometimes several of them, and once a phone call. And I may write that over and over in that blog just to remind myself, but that's grounds for HOPE. And not so mad a one either.