It's been so long since I posted last!! Wow, life has gotten away from me in the last week. The kids finished school, my daughter had a birthday party, and our family escaped to Busch Gardens for a few days of family fun time. I've been in computer/blogging/writing/reading withdrawals!
I spent a few hours today wandering Borders looking for a book. I realized about half and hour into it that I was enjoying it as a reader instead of a writer, for the first time in over two years. Instead of wondering where my book would go, instead of thumbing through the first pages of the new releases wondering what in the first paragraphs caught the attention of an agent, instead of fighting the feelings of butterflies in the stomach, thinking this is going to be me someday soon...
Instead of that, I just looked at books. I wrote lists of books I wanted to buy and read just because they looked interesting, and not because they were repped by an agent I liked, or because they fit a certain genre, or because they were the books touted on blogs I felt I should read.
For the first time in a long time, the pressure was gone.
I suppose that's both good and bad, but it is what it is. For the first time in a long time, I am not close to being on those shelves. Not even in my head. The book that is done, that is still on submission with three agents, is done for me. I'm putting it away, and not holding my breath.
And while I'm not going to stop writing, I'm going to give myself a little slack this summer. I'm going to spend more time with my kids, more time reading, less stress trying to write the next best seller. After all, who says I have to be done with a new book in six months? Who says in six months agents will be ready to take on more risks, and publishers willing to publish more books? There is, for this time in my life, no deadlines. I might as well enjoy that.
I brought home two brand new books that I could barely get in the door before cracking open. And now I'm off to sit in bed and read one until my eyes can barely stay open. I am so excited to make time to read again. (I think it's only been two weeks since I finished the last one, but it seems like forever ago!!)
And I found, while picking up all those great books in the store and falling in love with the reading again, that I was excited about writing again too.