A Tale of Two Tomes

Last January I made one of my favoritest resolutions ever: to go to bed a little earlier and read. No matter what the day entailed, no matter how much "to do" was left on my list, no matter how many emails were buzzing around in my inbox and how much blank page yawned at me from my Word document. No matter. To bed early and read.

It worked, too. I love it when I make resolutions that are actually good for me AND that I can keep!

I started with a Michael Crichton novel, I think. Then moved on to Dan Brown. Then a little YA that led to some chick lit. In between fluffy fun books I read literary and acclaimed books, like the Time Traveler's Wife and Vinegar Hill. I never counted the books I read, but it was a fair amount, especially considering I was writing, querying, editing, revising, marketing along the way.

Then came December and things got harder. Busier. We got a puppy for one. A puppy that liked to wake up at 5:30 and demanded attention all day long. Less got done during the day. More had to get done at night.

I discovered I don't do well with only four hours of sleep a night. I don't remember being this tired... well... ever. Maybe when I was pregnant in the first three months. But other than that - never. I fall asleep as soon as I stop moving. Which means when I'm sitting at the bus stop, listening to the pastor in church, pondering what the next sentence should be in my wip... and when I'm reading. Especially at night.

Lately I've tried to get back to it. This past summer I bought my son the Percy Jackson series by Rick Riordin, which he devoured in a week or two. When the ads came out about the movie, he wanted me to take him to go see it, and since I don't see movies adapted from books without reading the book first, I started my re-dedication to reading at night with Percy Jackson. Only it's gone very slowly, since I tend to fall asleep before I get two pages into it.

Which isn't to say it wasn't a great book! It was thoroughly entertaining and fun, and a great book for boys, and a great conversation piece for not only my son and I, but for me and a carload of middle school kids I drive two hours to an all-state choir competition.

Yesterday, though, I finished it, and rather than start on the next one in the series, I picked up a book given to me for Christmas in preparation for our family trip to Germany this summer. It's called The Bitter Road to Dachau, and it's about a pastor who gets put into the concentration camp for standing up to the Nazi's during World War II.

I'm not very far into it yet, but let me tell you – I stopped complaining about being cold in my house and having to go to the dentist. It's not an easy read by far; the story itself moves along at a quick clip and the writing flows pretty fast, but the subject matter is anything but fluff. It's a huge reminder of all I have to be thankful for... including my four hours of sleep in a warm bed with the family I love all tucked in under one roof.

So I'm plugging away at reading, even if it is only a few pages at a time.

Tell me, what are you reading these days?

10 Questions To Never Ask A Writer

I didn't write it.  Writer Lauren B. Davis wrote it.  But I sooooo wished I had!!

10 Questions Never To Ask A Writer.

Go. Read it. Thank me later.

Is it worth the uphill heartache?

Fifteen years ago I was teaching middle school English. I learned this:

It is not enough to love office supplies - to be intoxicated by the smell of felt tip pens and the feel of a hundred paper clips in your hands. To covet every color of post-it pads and have file drawers filled with neatly marked manilla envelopes.

It is not enough to love books and reading and the way language fits together like the most amazing puzzle ever, and how all of that can change a life.

It is not enough to be thrilled by long linoleum hallways and desks lined like wooden soldiers and the draw of colored chalk across a newly cleaned board.

It is not enough, even, to love the kids.

There is a factor you just can't name that makes a person born to teach.

It's like that with writing books, too.

You can love the click of the keys (Oh how I love that sound!!).

You can love to watch the story form across the screen or bleed out onto a piece of paper.

You can love your characters as though they were closer than family and friends.

You can love plotting and summarizing and outlining and even querying.

You can know the high that is like no other when your full manuscript prints out page after page.

But at the end of the day, writing – like teaching – is something emotional. Something you feel... sometimes too deeply. At the end of the day, there is a weighing of heartache and joy, the future and the past.

It's an investment of your heart as much as your time.

While there might be times you can merely "clock in" and do the work, there is greater time when you invest your entire being into it, mind, heart and body. 

And anytime you put your raw self on the line, there is going to be times when the uphill battle seems like it may not be worth it.

How do you know you are doing what you are meant to do? And how do you keep going when you get slapped down?

Good Thing Friday: When emails make you cry

I had a list of things to write about this week. For the first time in a while my head is full of blog posts, some of which might actually be interesting.  Unfortunately for the blog (but fortunately for me!), my head was also full of story that needed to be written. Between kids' activities resuming, demanding puppies (I'm not complaining, Mom!!), and my brain being utter mush by nine at night, there was little enough time to work on my WIP, let alone blog.

Not deterred, I figured at least I could whip up a quick list of good things for this Friday. Snow. Fleece. Puppies sleeping on my feet. Wagging tails. Quiet. Incredibly generous bloggers who interview me and review my book. Incredibly generous readers who shell out money – at Christmas time nonetheless – to buy my book.

But there is one great good thing that towers above everything else this week. Something I may have thought about – hoped about – but never fathomed how amazing it could be...

Emails.

Emails from people who have read the book, and been touched by it.

I've been getting them all week. Incredible, lovely, wonderful emails from people who may or may not have even known me, who found something they loved in the book and felt like they needed to tell me.

People who quote their favorite lines to me.

People who explain why a particular scene felt incredibly real and relateable.

People who open their hearts and their own world of hurts and struggles because they think I truly understand.

I received an email today from a mother who lost her own daughter to an illness the doctors didn't have a cure for. In the same town, the very same hospital as my book takes place in. Who had well-meaning folks tell them God would heal their daughter. And well-meaning folks tell her whatever the outcome was, it was God's will. Well-meaning folks that cooked and cleaned and visited and did the things that got them through the darkest times.

Her email made me cry.

Writers sometimes talk about whether it's more important to be critically acclaimed as a great writer, or to make a lot of money. I always said I only wanted to make a difference. I wanted my writing to matter to someone.

To have that actually happen.....

to say it's a good thing can't even begin to hit the mark.

It's amazing. Incredible.

It's the best thing ever.

Author Interviews (or rather, link to...)

One of my favorite writing people and fellow crit buddy, Kerri O'Connell has been busy over at her blog lately. First off, she interviewed me! I still can't get used to that, and I'm not sure I'm getting any better at answering the questions without getting all wordy. Clearly I was meant to be a novelist and not a flash fiction writer. 

Then today, she interviewed Jill Myles about the mythology in her new book, Gentleman Prefer Succubi. If you know Kerri, you know she is the perfect person to ask these questions!!  Even if you aren't a mythology buff, you should head over, because it's a terrific interview, and Jill and her agent, Holly Root, are running a contest through Jill's interviews.  Holly has offered a query critique to the one who has the most comments on Jill's Blog Tour. For each tour stop you comment on, you earn an extra entry in the drawing, and the limit is one comment per post. Jill will announce the winner on her own blog at the end of the tour. The complete tour schedule is here.

So then, why are you still here? Off you go, now... 

Jubilee

This word has been circling my head lately. Jubilee. Like jubilant and joyous, only so much more.

In Biblical terms, jubilee is a celebration – a year-long starting over. In the Old Testament, every 49 years was the Year of Jubilee, a time when debts were forgiven, slaves were set free, land was returned to its original owner. It meant that if you'd fallen on hard times and had to sell yourself into servitude to pay your debts, you were freed from bondage. If you'd fallen on hard times and had to sell your land – your inheritance – it was given back to you. If you'd made mistakes in the past and been paying the price, you were forgiven and set free.

What an amazing concept! Talk about a clean slate! Talk about a New Year! Can you imagine the joy and partying that must have gone on?

As long as I can remember the New Year rituals we celebrate seemed out of place. After all, it wasn't really ever a new year in school. January first was a continuation of the same school year as December 31. Until college it wasn't even a new grading period. When I graduated from Penn State I went on to teach... keeping the fall school start the truest feeling of beginnings. Now I have kids and the cycle continues. January first? A new date to write on a check, maybe, but a beginning?

But this year I've been thinking about Jubilee. It doesn't come every year. Because it occurs only once every 50 years, it only comes maybe once or twice in a person's lifetime. And for some reason, this year feels like Jubilee.

While the vastness of marketing and selling Some Kind of Normal stretches in front of me, that book is written, revised, edited, queried, shopped, contracted and published. Whatever decisions I made along they way, they are made and done.

Now it's time to start over.

It's time to put the fears and stresses behind me. It's time to dream again, a bigger dream. It's time to forgive myself for what I haven't done adequately and strive to be better without the worry of failure.

There are, of course, things that spill over. There are all sorts of unresolved things in life that keep going on. I live in America, where the government and credit companies don't exactly recognize Jubilee, and so there are bills that still need to be paid and obligations that have to be met.

But personally, professionally, as a writer, as a mom, as a wife, as a child of God... 

Today is a new beginning. A fresh start. A chance to do it again, and do it better. It's a new year.

It's Jubilee.