These are thanks to my son's English teacher, who thought they were a necessary introduction to understanding Romeo and Juliet. Don't ask.
Happy Friday. :)
A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.
A backward poet writes inverse.
If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
Does the name Pavolov ring a bell?
When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft, and I'll show you A flat minor.
He had a photographic memory, but it was never developed.
Every calendar's days are numbered.
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked. "Because," he siad, "I can't stand chess-nuts standing in an open foyer."
Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, "I've lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive."
And... my favorite:
Mhatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.
This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.