"Lovin' the Language" blogfest...Yes, I'm still writing.

Jolene Perry over at Been Writing is hosting a blogfest today, and though I was one of the early ones to sign up, I'm one of the last, I'll bet, to post. Blame it on jet lag. Blame it on residency brain leakage. Blame it on birthday business today. But here I am, with an hour and 45 minutes to go, so I think I'm doing okay.  :)

The challenge is to pick five lines or five short exerpts from a WIP and share them here. So here I go.

This is from a short story I recently wrote about an army officer recently discharged and trying to make it in the civilian world. I submitted this to workshop at school and got some great responses. If I have time, I'd like to fix it up some more and submit to a lit magazine somewhere. We'll see how it goes.

Anyhow - here are my five sentences.


The check printing plant is grey and drab, with low ceilings that feel claustrophobic. Fluorescent lights cast an unnatural glow over the line workers, creating the illusion of moving corpses, fitting for a dying industry. A few look up at me, vaguely interested, then bow back over their jobs, the printing room a bubble of loud machinery and humming conveyor belts. Every few seconds a machine in the corner lets a guillotine-like blade fall, whacking a stack of paper into smaller stacks of checks. 

He finally leaves me alone in a padded cubicle the color of cobwebs with no windows and a stack of manuals to read and memorize; I want to close the door and lay my head on the desk and cry, but there is no door.

If you have time, you should pop over to Jolene's blog and read her fantastic exerpt, and check out the links of other participants. And if you're really brave, maybe you'll put one or two of your favorite lines in the comment section here. I'd love to be inspired by you.